just be done w all their bullshit, everyone else’s. not have to deal w their lies and excuses. their pathetic reasoning and pointing the finger at you for fucking up first. like it’s your fault they were a bad friend; they got sick; their dick ended up inside someone else’s – not just once though, oh no. No, it was more than a dozen times. bc its your fault they cheated on you. for an entire fucking fuck. that they had an affair w someone else. that stye had a RELATIONSHIP w someone else. while they were supposed to be w just you.
its your fault.
it always is.
because apparently everything is.
its already my fault that i can’t handle being in college and juggling only 3 fucking classes and am now failing all of them. its already my fault that I’m a failure and a half for my mom. not my dad though, he thinks I’m perfect. I’ve emailed him about this beautiful prefect clever girl who get straight As and can handle being in several different ezra curricular including starting new organizations.
he think I’m perfect.
he thinks I’m my brother.
I can’t put all my happiness on Elias. i know that. and i don’t. or i try not to.
i really do try not to.
but I’m not enough
my mom.. elias.. sophia.. especially my dad tho.
I’m just not enough. i never am. i wish i could be, but I’ve never been enough for them.
not good enough or smart enough or skinny enough or pretty enough or nice enough or hard working enough or thoughtful enough or funny enough.
just not enough.