Shacker in Shackles: Part 2

The entire thing was like a scene out of OITNB. I had to get naked, squat and cough, wear an orange jumpsuit type scrubs thing. And they handed me a rolled up mattress w a toothbrush, roll of toilet paper, and a piece of paper w phone numbers of people I got off my phone to call on the phone in the cell room thing.

Don’t worry tho, they may have put me in a room w meth heads and people coming down from Ice (don’t ask me what that is, bc I have absolutely no idea…)…

But they took me in as one of their own and explained the whole process to me.

Yeah, I totally made friends w meth heads and heroin addicts in jail.

Not the drunk tank.


At some point, after much irritation, I found that you can’t call any phone number that has an out-of-state area code… 


This girl (whom I think was a heroin addict), offered to call her boyfriend who would then call my friend Victoria to explain what had happened. He also looked up my mugshot for me and told me I looked a hot mess. (Eye roll).

He literally got his roommate’s phone and put it up to his, so I could talk to Tori through 2 phones.

I mean, IDK about you but I think that’s hilarious.

She then called my mom to explain the situation and let her know I needed to be bailed out. Drunk. She called my mom DRUNK to tell her I needed her to bail me out of jail for selling a controlled substance. wtf.


…my bail was set at $70,000 



…let’s just say she wasn’t too happy.

On a side note, while I was jail… 

On my way out, I ran into a correctional officer I’d met at Harry’s Bar and had HOOKED UP WITH 2 weeks earlier. LOL. When he noticed me,in my scrubs and carrying the rolled up mattress and mascara stains all over my face, I grinned and said to him, would you believe me if I said this was a social visit?”

The look on his face was priceless.


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