Shacker in Shackles: Part 2

The entire thing was like a scene out of OITNB. I had to get naked, squat and cough, wear an orange jumpsuit type scrubs thing. And they handed me a rolled up mattress w a toothbrush, roll of toilet paper, and a piece of paper w phone numbers of people I got off my phone to call on the phone in the cell room thing.

Don’t worry tho, they may have put me in a room w meth heads and people coming down from Ice (don’t ask me what that is, bc I have absolutely no idea…)…

But they took me in as one of their own and explained the whole process to me.

Yeah, I totally made friends w meth heads and heroin addicts in jail.

Not the drunk tank.


At some point, after much irritation, I found that you can’t call any phone number that has an out-of-state area code… 


This girl (whom I think was a heroin addict), offered to call her boyfriend who would then call my friend Victoria to explain what had happened. He also looked up my mugshot for me and told me I looked a hot mess. (Eye roll).

He literally got his roommate’s phone and put it up to his, so I could talk to Tori through 2 phones.

I mean, IDK about you but I think that’s hilarious.

She then called my mom to explain the situation and let her know I needed to be bailed out. Drunk. She called my mom DRUNK to tell her I needed her to bail me out of jail for selling a controlled substance. wtf.


…my bail was set at $70,000 



…let’s just say she wasn’t too happy. Continue reading


In memory of my social life

Over the last year or so, I have wanted to post so many times. I wanted to describe my adventures of the night before; I wanted to detail the highs and lows, the joy and silliness, the pain and heartbreak.

The problem?

Whatever I post, you would be so lost as to what I am talking about. Maybe it’s bc to understand the monumental-ness of the situation/experience, you would need the complete history with the people and previous nights just to keep up.

Or maybe it’s just bc I’m a shitty writer.

Who knows?

The basics of the last year; my level of popularity has plummeted.





From trying to break into a bar after hours totally blackedout, to passing out and having to be carried out of the bar after taking too many xannies. From several one-night stands (without any sex occurring – I know, actually a shocker), to having a (relatively) long term relationship (EEK I KNOW!! But it really was only for like 4 months, BUT that’s the longest I’ve ever been in one for!!!).

I’ve lost good friends.

I’ve gained better ones.

I’ve had my heart broken; again, and again, and again.

I’ve learned how to put the pieces back together on my own. Eventually…

I’ve learned the difference between being in love, and being attached to someone.

I’ve made a boy cry – 4 TIMES!!! 2 different guys tho (1 was 2 nights ago… More on that later tho) kinda feel empowered by that, as awful as it sounds…

Biggest news:

I got arrested for 3 felonies; 2 distribution, 1 possession – of cocaine ($70k bail)

I acquired a boyfriend

whom I then “cheated” on

and then got pregnant w said guy

(but at first was confused who the father was)

I got an abortion.


I’ll try to catch y’all up on all these events/experiences over the next few days (I have nothing better to do anyway)
I’m telling you tho…

This past year and this summer have been wild.

To say the absolute least.